


The Camouflaged Pupper

by adorkablephil (kimberly_a)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cute Doggo, Fluff, Gen, I'm Really Not Kidding About the Amount of Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 03:38:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimberly_a/pseuds/adorkablephil
Summary: Dan, Phil, and a little black dog





	The Camouflaged Pupper

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick little something for @phancy-phandom on Tumblr, because she's sweet and she wanted a fic about Dan and Phil getting a dog. Thank you to @agingphangirl and @inkyhowlter for some last-minute britpicking re: where UK folks might adopt stray dogs. (The RSPCA is the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.)

 

Dan had been planning a relaxing day of Mario Kart and leftover pizza. The weather was still a bit hot, but not hot enough to warrant turning on the air conditioning, so he planned to walk around in his pants and just avoid the world, and he wasn't ashamed a bit.

But Phil obviously had other plans. He'd been sitting on the couch with his laptop, watching Cat's video over and over again, making happy noises and constantly interrupting Dan's Tumblr scrolling with comments like, "Sigma is so cute!" and "Remember how soft he was?" and "He was so wiggly!" and "Remember when he licked your face? Look how happy you were!"

Dan sighed every time Phil spoke or tried to get him to watch the video. "Yes, Phil." He replied each time in a monotone. "The puppy was cute. I remember."

Phil patted his shoulder excitedly. "We could go to the RSPCA today! Just to visit. Just to get some puppy time! I'm sure they have puppies. Wouldn't it be nicer to pet actual puppies than just watching videos of them? Wasn't it great getting to hold Sigma? We could do that today! Just ... visit. Come on." He was begging now.

Dan sighed more heavily. "You're asking me to put on actual **jeans**? And get off the couch? And leave the house? Go **outside**?" He gave Phil his best put-upon expression. To be honest, cuddling some puppies sounded kind of fun, but he wasn't going to give in that easily.

"You know, the puppies at the RSPCA are probably really lonely. We would be doing them a favor by spending some time with them. It would be like ... contributing to charity," Phil argued, nodding seriously.

Dan wasn't fooled by Phil's nonsense after this many years of living with it every day. He rolled his eyes. "That is the most transparent excuse I've ever heard. If I let you into an animal shelter, you're going to beg to bring a dog home. I know you, Phil. You're going to want to get one, and we finally have this new flat where everything is neat and tidy and clean and just the way we want it. A dog would completely ruin that."

"We won't actually get one. I promise. We can just go look." He smiled, trying to look innocent. He crossed a finger over his heart. "I swear."

"I don't trust you for a second, you soft-hearted dork. And you know we aren't ready to own a dog. It's a lot of responsibility, and we travel so much..."

"If we **did** get a dog..." Phil began, "you know, not today, but ... someday ... Felix and Marzia could doggysit! Our doggo could go have a sleepover with their doggos!" He grinned.

Dan shook his head at Phil's faulty logic. "Felix travels to a lot of the same events we do, Phil. And are you really just volunteering Marzia to dogsit without even asking her? That's pretty rude."

"Well ... she and I may have sort of ... talked about it the last time we visited them." He looked at Dan with big contrite eyes that begged Dan not to be angry.

Dan shook his head, but couldn't help smiling a little with unsurprised fondness. This guy!

* * *

Phil Lester has the superpower of being able to exert the most effective peer pressure of any human being on the planet, and so Dan somehow found himself at the RSPCA shelter a couple hours later.

And, just as Phil had predicted, the shelter housed several offensively cute puppies. Phil had, of course, immediately taken to the saddest-looking one in the place.

"She had a rough start in life," the RSPCA worker told them. "She's the runt of her litter, and her mother started attacking her before her eyes were even open, because it's better for the whole litter if the runt doesn't take milk that could go to the pups with a better chance of survival."

"Her mother actually **attacked** her?" Phil whimpered, eyes wide. He sat down on the ground and lifted the tiny black puppy into his lap. The pup curled up immediately on Phil's leg, dwarfed by Phil's gigantic size.

The RSPCA worker nodded. "We had to take her out of the cage. We don't have the resources to bottle-feed infant animals, so we weren't sure she was going to make it. But then a sweet dog mum was brought in with a litter of newborn pups and she took this little girl in with her own and fostered her.”

Phil looked as if he might actually burst into tears. Dan tried to harden his heart. The little black puppy had ears far too large for the rest of her body. Sitting on Phil, she looked up at Dan and cocked her head, as if considering him thoughtfully.

Phil too looked up at him from his seated position on the floor and cocked his head in unconscious mimicry. Puppy and Phil were both looking at him, and something squeezed his heart in his chest. No. They absolutely did not need a dog complicating their lives.

The puppy wagged her tail as she gazed up at him.

Well, fuck.

No. No way. No dog. He would just have to convince Phil to put the puppy down and walk away. Walk away from the ... incredibly ... cute ... adorable ... little ... black puppy. "I thought you wanted a corgi or a shibe, or even a pug," he argued desperately. "This one is just a mutt."

Phil hurriedly covered the puppy's giant ears, looking distressed. "She isn't **just** anything. She's perfect exactly the way she is. She can't help who her parents were! Her **abusive** parents! Don't shame her for something she can't change!" He took his hands off her ears and stroked her head comfortingly, leaning down to whisper softly into her humongous ear while he glared at Dan. She licked Phil's fingers in response, making him giggle.

"Our entire apartment is white," Dan sputtered, beginning to lose hope. "She'll leave black fur everywhere."

Phil smiled in obvious triumph. "But the fur will match all your clothes, so it won't show!" He stroked the puppy, and she wriggled, rolling onto her back so Phil could pet her stomach.

It was horrifyingly adorable.

The RSPCA employee offered, "The staff here have been calling her Tabitha. She's so young you could easily change her name if you want, though."

Phil's eyes lit up even more. He held up the puppy to look into its face and implored, "Did you hear that, Dan? Tabitha! Just like our Sim! It's **fate**!"

Dan rolled his eyes again. This was just getting ridiculous. They could **not** get a puppy. They **would** not get a puppy. "It's just a coincidence, Phil."

"It's a **sign**!"

"It's nothing but..."

"Here. Hold Tabitha a minute." Phil shoved the black puppy into Dan's hands. She gazed into his eyes, and then he maybe cuddled her. Just a bit. Maybe.

She nuzzled her head under his chin and went limp against his chest with a high-pitched little breathy sigh.

"Awww," Dan sighed in return before he could prevent himself. Phil grinned at him in triumph. Dan cradled the vulnerable little body in his hands—she was so light! she hardly weighed anything!—and rubbed the top of her fuzzy head with his chin.

However much he hated it, he knew when to admit defeat.

"Hey pupper," he crooned to the warm little weight lying so trustingly against him. "Wanna come shed on some black clothes and scratch up some hardwood floors running around in a fancy new flat?"

Phil bounced with excitement but knew better than to say anything. He let Dan just continue in this promising direction.

Dan balanced the tiny body in one hand—that’s how small she was—and stroked her soft fur with the other. "Are you already asleep?" he whispered, not wanting to wake her if that was the case. The pup nuzzled against his neck again and let out a little snuffling snore. Dan looked at Phil helplessly.

"Well fuck," he whispered again. "I guess we've got a dog."

Phil leaned over to stroke a gentle finger along Tabitha's soft fur, not wanting to wake her. "Welcome to the family, Tabitha Howlter," he cooed in the quietest, happiest voice Dan had ever heard.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently mostly not posting new fic publicly and am instead only sending fic to my email mailing list of nice people because rl depression/anxiety issues are making me too vulnerable to risk hurtful criticism right now. I'm not sure how long that will be going on, but this little fic just had to be posted now for @phancy-phandom. :)
> 
> I'm @adorkablephil on Tumblr. If you want to find out about my temporary email fic mailing list, email me at adorkablephil@gmail.com. You're welcome to join if you promise not to say anything hurtful.


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